A Primer on Female Persuasion

She was wrapped around her daddy's leg screeching and giggling, "I catched you!"

Now you owe me a hug and a kiss," Daddy said. "When you catch me, you have to give me a hug and a kiss."

"No," she giggled, climbing onto his belly.

"Okay, then here come the tickle birds!"

Annie twisted and turned, laughing and screaming. After a few minutes, Daddy took a break from tickling her to grab two sticks of Lincoln Logs beside him. He began tapping them together.

"Give them to me," she demanded, reaching for the sticks.

"No, I'm playing with them," he answered, blocking her.

Several more blocked attempts, and my two year old daughter paused, sat up, tilted her head, and blinked her lash-fringed blue eyes at her daddy. "Hug and kiss?"

His crooked smile told me he wasn't fooled, but he answered, "Yes, hug and kiss."

She leaned forward and, wrapping her small arms about his neck, planted a soft kiss on his lips. Sitting up with a smile, she asked, "Have those?"

Daddy gave them to her.

Slipping to the floor next to him, she struck the sticks together, "making music."

Daddy picked up a small colored ball and tossed it from hand to hand.

Annie dropped the sticks and held out a hand, "Have that?"

"No, I'm playing with it," Daddy replied.

She reached for the ball, he blocked her attempt. The physical battle was much shorter. "Hug and kiss?" she suggested.

"Yes, hug and kiss," Daddy agreed. She climbed onto his chest, wrapped her small arms about his neck, and planted another soft kiss on his lips. Sitting up with a triumphant smile, she asked, "Have that?"

Daddy held the ball out of her reach, preparing his lecture. "Now Annie, just because you give someone a hug and a kiss doesn't mean you'll always get what you want, especially with boys. Understand?"

"Yes," she grinned, then watched the ball drop into her hand.

Is there Strength in the Neck?

"The man is the head," dramatic pause, "but the woman is the neck." Although everyone had heard the phrase before, they guffawed gaily and glanced around suggestively. This launched a merry discussion among my family and friends, very intelligent married women included, on how a woman might manipulate a man into doing as she wished by wearing lingerie and clouding his thinking with passion. My uncle, a man of outspoken opinion, suggested the sooner a woman learned to remove her outer garments, the better off a couple would be.

I admit, I sat in silent shock, failing to defend the strength of a woman's mind, the persuasiveness of her speech, and the undeniably insightful feminine wisdom. These were my peers. Well educated women raised in a culture of gender equality casting off their sharp intellects, logical arguments, and verbal acumen to rely on the powers of the body. Thereby taking advantage of the man in his weakened, sex-heightened state. Was no one offended?

The conversation passed into another. Time slipped away, as it always does, and faimiles drove off to their own homes. Mark and I went up to prepare for bed. "Can you believe what they were saying?" my wonderful husband huffed. "That's just what I was talking about. As long as women use their bodies to control men, they'll be treated like objects." We'd had this discussion before. Often, I supported the occasional use of feminine graces to gain an advantage, just as a man might sometimes use his superior speed, or strength. But this time, we were in accord. "That's why I love you," he finished, "because of your mind." I smiled.

Several nights later, well past the time I'm usually open to lovemaking, I ventured from the bedroom to the kitchen, where my husband, Mark, sat surfing the internet. I suggested, with a coy smile, he come to bed. Hearing my tone of voice, his eyes jumped from the screen, his brows raised, and he mouthed, "Can we?" casting a surreptitious glance at the oven clock.

I grinned, "Yeah. I have something I need you to do for me."

"Oh. What?" he said.

I laughed. Wow, that was easy, maybe it's not such a bad idea after all...