Sunday, June 8, 2008

Is there Strength in the Neck?

"The man is the head," dramatic pause, "but the woman is the neck." Although everyone had heard the phrase before, they guffawed gaily and glanced around suggestively. This launched a merry discussion among my family and friends, very intelligent married women included, on how a woman might manipulate a man into doing as she wished by wearing lingerie and clouding his thinking with passion. My uncle, a man of outspoken opinion, suggested the sooner a woman learned to remove her outer garments, the better off a couple would be.

I admit, I sat in silent shock, failing to defend the strength of a woman's mind, the persuasiveness of her speech, and the undeniably insightful feminine wisdom. These were my peers. Well educated women raised in a culture of gender equality casting off their sharp intellects, logical arguments, and verbal acumen to rely on the powers of the body. Thereby taking advantage of the man in his weakened, sex-heightened state. Was no one offended?

The conversation passed into another. Time slipped away, as it always does, and faimiles drove off to their own homes. Mark and I went up to prepare for bed. "Can you believe what they were saying?" my wonderful husband huffed. "That's just what I was talking about. As long as women use their bodies to control men, they'll be treated like objects." We'd had this discussion before. Often, I supported the occasional use of feminine graces to gain an advantage, just as a man might sometimes use his superior speed, or strength. But this time, we were in accord. "That's why I love you," he finished, "because of your mind." I smiled.

Several nights later, well past the time I'm usually open to lovemaking, I ventured from the bedroom to the kitchen, where my husband, Mark, sat surfing the internet. I suggested, with a coy smile, he come to bed. Hearing my tone of voice, his eyes jumped from the screen, his brows raised, and he mouthed, "Can we?" casting a surreptitious glance at the oven clock.

I grinned, "Yeah. I have something I need you to do for me."

"Oh. What?" he said.

I laughed. Wow, that was easy, maybe it's not such a bad idea after all...

1 comment:

Melia said...

I think of that famous, or infamous, head-and-neck line as referring to the power of verbal or mental persuasion. But, of course, it can certainly be physical. I guess I discount the physical persuasion as somehow being less. I too get offended when a woman--or a man--use their sex appeal to get what they want. Perhaps ironically, I tend to respect someone when they use their wits to persuade. Depending on one's goal, that could be just as manipulative.